Are you registering for classes for the upcoming fall semester at a prestigious and expensive university? You'll need to prepare for a cutthroat world of higher education and poverty that's in store for you.
Here is a definitive list of items you must take to college with you:
1. Extra internal organs to trade for tuition: One kidney alone will cover 3 credit hours!
2. $8,000 cash: For books! Oh, you thought your tuition covered books? AHAHAHAHA!
3. Extra change of pronouns: No one uses he/him or she/her anymore. Get with it!
4. Several changes of extremely ugly, unattractive clothing: So you'll fit in with all the other GenZ kids.
5. Contraband Jordan Peterson videos to secretly share with your friends: Whatever you do, do NOT get caught with these!
6. Cat ears for some reason: Everyone's doing it.
7. Acoustic guitar and ability to play one song: Everyone will love you!
8. Small fan, reusable water bottle, pencil case, and durable book bag: To sell for beer money.
9. Magneto helmet to keep professors out of your head: Helmet hair isn't a problem because you'll never want to take it off. Ever.
10. #2 pencil: To poke your eyes out during the cafeteria's drag show.
11. A completely new identity for when you first get canceled for telling a politically incorrect joke on social media: No one is immune.
Credit: https://babylonbee.com/news/going-to-college-heres-what-you-need-to-pack-for-the-fall-semester-this-year
sat·ire
noun
the use of humor, irony, exaggeration, or ridicule to expose and criticize people's stupidity or vices, particularly in the context of contemporary politics and other topical issues.
Hang Out With Us:
No comments:
Post a Comment
Don't be shy. Leave a comment below and tell the world what you think.
.jpg)
No comments:
Post a Comment
Don't be shy. Leave a comment below and tell the world what you think.