The Dark Secrets of Dolphins

From: Bob M.

Sent: June 18, 2012

To: undisclosed recipients

Subject: Fw: The Dark Secrets of Dolphins

I can't believe this. I loved flipper :-) Throw away your rainbow dolphin posters and stop fantasizing about swimming happily and freely with Flipper and his mates. Dolphins aren't the gentle, loving, psychic animals they're made out to be in pop culture representations. They're actually a species with a propensity for rape and baby killing. 

Dolphin sex is often violent and coercive, with male dolphins pretty much gang raping a single female dolphin for sometimes weeks at a time. And apparently dolphins don't need to sleep. And they're known to violently kill not only porpoise babies, but their own babies too. Scientists think that this is a way to make the female dolphins ready to mate immediately again. They can stay up for days on end (without amphetamines) with no discernible loss of mental acuity... (except for the whole violent baby-killing rape thing).

Don't believe me? Read this article by a real-life and marine biologist. I'm never swimming with dolphins. Ever.